Got any Nope, go Fish
by May-Rene
Summary: What happens when shinobi come together for a game of go fish? Nothing much, just a village left positive that the apocalypse is coming.
1. Chapter 1: Bets are Made

"**Got Any..." "Nope, Go Fish"**

Chapter 1: Bets are Made

Naruto- *points finger* "You're nothing but a lousy little pervert!"

Jiraiya- "I am not a little pervert!"

Naruto- "Then tell me, what are you?"

Jiraiya- "Mwahaha, I'm a big one."

A/N- I love when authors put quotes before a chapter whether they are from a person, show, book or whatever. They always give me a good laugh or something to think about. This is from Naruto episode 51 "Long time no see Jiraiya returns". This is by far my favorite.

Naruto was sweating and looked pale as he asked, "Say that again?"

"You heard me brat. If I win no ramen for one whole week."

"But that's like," he paused and thought about it, "seven whole days!"

Kurama chuckled. "Look, one of us doesn't enjoy eating ramen for every meal. Ever consider eating a salad?" the fox inquired.

"You're a carnivore. A _carnivore_. Foxes shouldn't be harping on someone to go eat salad!"

"In case you haven't noticed, I am no mere fox." He growled.

"Yeah," his container responded, "I know, you're a demon fox. Doesn't that mean that you hate greens even more than me?"

"I live on more than just flesh, Naruto, and you should on more than ramen. Just get on with the game." He said in exasperation.

"But what about if I-" the blonde stopped as the door knob to his apartment turned.

"If you what, dobe? Arguing with a shadow clone, that's weird, even for you." Sasuke jeered.

"I am no ordinary kage bushin, you arrogant human!" Kurama stood up strode over to the avenger who looked amused. _Don't do anything uncalled for fox...By my standards. _Naruto order through their link. The fox grumbled before giving Sasuke an evil smile. _Fine brat._

"We were about to play a rousing game of go fish with some...side bets. Care to join?"

"Why not," Sasuke replied eyes narrowed and smiling. "What's the bet?"

"You lose, you dress as a female for a full twenty-four hours... Oh and do try to act lady like."

"And if I win you do that." He looked over to Naruto and an idea popped into his his. "And _you_," he pointed to blond, "will be my servant for a day of _my_ choosing." His grin was dark as his head filled with premonitions. 'Yes Sasuke-sama, I will gladly adorn this dunce cap and clean your home.' 'Of course master, I shall be your personal foot rest.' 'Putting on this dog collar would be my pleasure Great One.' 'Only say the word and I shall make you dinner.' _Hm. He probably can't cook and I'd get food poisoning, but then again I could order him to eat it himself._ He thought smugly.

"Bring it on teme and **when** I win, you can be my lackey for a day." _Poor Sasuke, I'm gonna beat him so bad that he'll never live it down. _"Oh! Almost forgot, I also get to take a picture of you as a girl Kurama."

"And why would you do that, he whose dreams can be influenced by me?" Kurama reminded his vessel sweetly.

"Uh, just a, um memento." _And for sweet black mail should I ever need it._ He happily thought.

"I heard that last part to whelp." The fox spat. "You use it as such and I'll-"

"DO I DETECT A HOT BLOODED CONTEST OF RIVALS HERE! Lee exclaimed barging through the door. "I SHALL PARTAKE OF THIS CHALLENGE AS WELL!" He sat down and waited eagerly. Naruto looked to Sasuke and he nodded, "Alright Lee, if you lose, you have to wear normal clothes for a week. No jump suit or anything too outrageous." Naruto explained.

"Rich coming from the 'kill me now orange' wearing guy." Sasuke muddered under his breath.

Said 'kill me now orange' wearing guy shot the Uchiha a heated glare while his tenant snickered.

"I ACCEPT AND SHALL ALSO DO 1000 PUSH-UPS ON MY THUMBS! YOSH~!" he proclaimed with flames in his eyes. Everyone sweat dropped at this. "BUT SHOULD MY FLAMES OF YOUTH PREVAIL WHAT WILL BE MY PRIZE!?"

"I'll go on a date with you," a female voice responded as it walked through the door. "I was wondering what all that commotion was about. If I win though, no more asking me out Lee. Got it?" The pinkette announced.

"OF COURSE SAKURA-SAN!" At this time Hinata stepped out from behind Sakura and made her presence known. "M-may I play in as w-well?" The timid Hyūga asked.

"Sure Hinata!" Her crush yelled grinning. "If you win I'll treat you to ramen. If you lose you-"

"Have to kissed Naruto." Sakura interrupted.

*a breeze sweeps through the apartment during the silence that has befallen*

_What?_ She thought face beet red.

"What?" He asked face in total disbelief.

"Oh billboard brow that is so cruel. About as cruel as me saying that if you were to lose you'd have to sheer off those bangs, leaving that obnoxiously large forehead exposed." Ino said as she strolled by the apartment and up the stairs with Choji and Shikamaru trailing lazily behind.

"The only 'obnoxious' thing here is your personality, Ino-pig. And I'd accept on the terms that you lose and you get a crew cut."

"Deal." She said butting her head against Sakura's.

"How troublesome." Shikamaru sighed. "Ino stop butting in to things, let's just go to the training field like we planned."

"I don't know Shikamaru this sounds interesting. How about we make a bet to?" Choji asked.

"I hate peer pressure."

"Since when do you care about what people think of you? If you did you'd get offended whenever someone made a comment about your laziness." Ino snapped.

"Fine. I win and you go mute for a day. Choji you, I don't know, you can treat me to BBQ or something." Shikamaru said going up the stairs. "I lose I'll treat you."

"Alright and if I win you have to take me shopping and can't complain. What are you betting Choji?"

"I'll treat whoever beats me to sukiyaki." The big boned shinobi replied.

"Hey guys. What's everyone gathering at Naruto's for?" Kiba asked seeing a decent number of people going into the blonde's apartment.

"We're playing go fish and making bets with each other." Naruto shouted.

"Sounds like fun! Count me and Shino in." Kiba replied.

"What are the stakes?" Shino enquired.

"Ano, I have never seen you with your s-sunglasses off. If you lose, could you go without wearing them for a day?" Hinata asked.

"Very well. I would like to see you confess to someone if you lose then Hinata." Shino stated.

"Confess? Hinata did you commit a crime or something?" Naruto wondered.

_No, but how I wish I could steal your heart Naruto-kun_ Hinata thought.

"No she didn't loudmouth. How about if I win you go on a date with me Hinata?" Kiba said turning towards his teammate.

"O-ok. But what if you lose?"

"He could dress up like a cat." Shino suggested.

"Awesome idea!" Naruto yelled.

"Not an awesome idea!" Kiba yelled back.

"Do you accept or not?"

"Fine. I accept."

"Then let's star-"

"Room for one more?"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Team seven cried.

"Yo. I overheard the bets going around. How about if I win, everybody loses their personal bet. If I lose, I take on the losing bet of everybody. Does that sound fair?" Kakashi asked.

"It does, but considering you would have to beat ten people to win, I would say your decision is foolish, Hatake." Kurama reasoned.

"Well, don't you go worrying about little old me." He told the fox smiling.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"You cheated!"

"He must have!"

"When I get my hands on you!"

"You staked the deck or did something didn't you!?"

"There is no way he got that lucky!"

"Not lucky enough to beat everyone else I agree!"

"You're dead Hatake!"

"Yosh I Must Practice My Go Fish Skills!"

"Shut up Lee!"

"Yeah help up dismember Kakashi!"

"I demand a rematch!"

_'I get to kiss Naruto-kun... I don't know whether to be jumping for joy or not since it's just from a bet.'_

_'Now might be a good time to make my escape'_ "Just remember to keep your losing bets everyone." Kakashi eye smiled and shushined.

A/N- I got the idea from Fairy Tail during the grand magic games when everyone is making bets. I hope it wasn't too terrible cause this is most definitely not my better work.


	2. Chapter 2: Bets are Kept

Chapter 2: Bets are kept

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope"- Winston Churchill

The next week was an interesting one. If one were to ask Konoha's civilian residents to comment, "the apocalypse is coming" would probably be a fairly consistent answer because there could be no other explanation. Never in recorded history had the village's jinchūriki gone more than a day without eating ramen. (Unless he was on a mission and physically could not get any) And what else could make the honored last Uchiha cross dress as a girl. ( To said Uchiha's dismay this got some cheering from his female fans. Sakura even took pictures, as well as Naruto) Gai would agree with the civilians because nothing else would make his precious Lee do something so "unyouthful." (Many other jōnin gave the boy strange looks and Kurenai thanked thanked God for Lee coming to his senses) Iruka might say that his students just snapped from the stress or trauma, after all a stressful and desperate situation had made Sakura and Ino cut their hair before and this would account for Ino's refusal to speak to anyone.

Tsunade would blame the alcohol because there was no way in hell the nine tailed fox would ever cross dress. For any reason what-so-ever. (She had taken the rest of the day off telling Shizune that she was not in her right state of mind) Hiashi would applaud Hinata for finally working up the courage to confess to Naruto and even kiss him. (This was of course after checking to make sure that this _was_ his daughter because at first he couldn't believe it. And then he had been convinced that he was under a genjutsu and excepted that as the only other logical answer.) This was Tsume's conclusion as well. Nothing else could explain Kiba's sudden urge to dress as a cat. Shibi's assumption was much less drastic. He figured Shino was merely trying something new. Asuma's hypothesis for Shikamaru taking Ino out shopping and Choji and Shikamaru treating the rest of the Genin 9 to dinner was simple. The youngsters were finally getting along better. Shizune could except everything but Naruto's willingness to admit that Sasuke was superior to him in every way. And to admit this in front of the whole village. And ever sign in writing that he felt this way and was in his right state of mind. She had a feeling that this must have been a bet or prank of some kind when the next day Naruto was using Sasuke as a horse. Her eyes had gone wide seeing the avenger on his hands and knees and Naruto on his back. When ever Naruto told Sasuke to smile Shizune swore that the boy was going to bust a blood vessel as crack his teeth from gritting them so hard. That or give cause civilians to faint from the killing intent his was leaking. Yep. This was certainly a prank or the end of the world.

A/N- I'm done~! Okay I hope this isn't to bad because I am serious considering not posting this because of have terrible I think this is. Please forgive any grammar mistakes (especially spelling. I. Cannot. Spell. To. Save. My Life.)

Comment if you want of can. Even one word like "nice" "terrible" "funny" "um.." is appreciated *smiles*. Well have a good day. Or if it's night time then a good night.


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